The death and the end

Voila

bearwitnessunto:

[trigger warning: talk of depression]

I often wonder

why in the hell are people made to pay for anti-depressants?

like…you realize that I’m depressed, right?

and that I, without medication, don’t feel my life is worth living?

these pills are, most likely, the only thing stopping me from killing myself.  I just don’t care about my life. so…how the hell do you expect me to justify paying for it?

the ability to prolong my life, via medication, necessitates some shred of caring about my life.  Or, in other words: In order to continue my life, I first have to care enough to pay to continue it. But without medication, I don’t have a single shred of care for my life.  

…You see how that’s kind of circular, right?

Because of the numerous effects that anti-depressants have, they don’t stop you from being depressed. Simply, SSRI’s are a con, I’ve been on dozens, a lot of money is being made and people who need help are being sold make-you-numb pills instead.

(via aquavitaecollective)

Got ditched by someone I really care about. Gone from having had an ok day to punching a hole in a wall and wanting to kill myself

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

i hate me and I hate my life

Let’s swap please.

(Source: iamahatecrime)

transdyke:

In which our protagonist blogs about things: Dear femboydreams (TW cissexist and racist and ableist and sexist slurs used as examples)

femboydreams:

transdyke:

I notice that you typed the word “tranny”.

But not the word “nigger”.

Because apparently the first isn’t as bad as the second.

(Protip: any slur that is used to dehumanise a minority is “just as bad” as any other)

I find it interesting that you use the full word of the group that you are a…

OH yeah totally. Its not like black people were slaves for years.

See. THATS THE DIFFERENCE.

Nigger, if your so adament for me to say it, is a result of years of terrible slavery and injustice. On a mass scale. Not a ‘oh i dont like that person call them something, errrrm well they are transexual.. erm.. tran…ny? Tranny!’

Nigger isnt just a word. It means Black slave. Tranny? That just means a transperson.  When a word has meaning it is a completely different thing.

Of course, all of the years and years of trans people being killed, raped, hospitalised, etc whilst being called these things - that’s not injustice!

Being able to be fired from jobs in most countries just because you’re trans, that’s not injustice!

Being forced to comply with the most narrow and oppressive definition of woman before being allowed treatment (in gatekeepy places), that’s not injustice!

Google “trans violence” and think about how many trans women are excluded from women-only places due to the fact that we have a dick, but not included in men’s spaces either because we’re “trannies”

Just do some fucking research before you pretend that we are not oppressed.

^this

Also Femboy Whore comes across as a creepy fetishist.

(Source: aquavitaecollective, via aquavitaecollective)

An obsevation.

I got taller. Almost the same height as my gf. Probs just an inch. But frig. 

Not sure how that happened but it’s probably muscle gain from ballet. It should be mostly core and lower body, not upper back which is what I attributed to my height loss after going on estrogen.

And this isn’t the first time I’ve exercised like this, just the first time since I’ve been on hrt and it’s really freaky how quickly my body is responding this time.

Possible source of dysphoria issues as I as settling into getting cute and chubby for the winter before this kicked in.

I’m worryingly mailable.